Carson

Now that I am somewhat caught up on life, I wanted to share some pictures from my lil nug's visit back in Nov. She is so special to me! Carson and I were college roommates and then we moved to CO together. She left me after a year (I'm not bitter at all) to head back to MD. I miss her so much, but I know that God has given me an amazing, even COOL, gift in my friend.

Here is a picture of all three of us one-time roomies. I really hold the times we spent together so dear, although, I am so happy to see where life has taken us since. It is so clear whenI look at frienships like these, that God is working daily in me and so tenderly bestowing his gifts and promises upon my life. I am very thankful.

What's in a word?

A group of us recently finished a study by John Pieper. One of the lessons discussed how the word "cool" has been able to transcend age, gender, and geography. It never goes out of style. Johnnie used "cool" to describe the actions of young soldiers who threw their bodies onto grenades to protect their friends from certain death. Now, I don't know about you, but I use that word far too often and it has long been a staple in my vocabulary (that, and dude, but we will save that problem for another day). After hearing Pieper's description of what is truly cool, I fear that it has lost its meaning in my overuse. Feeling convicted to reserve that word for the legitimately cool; I now need a new word. I am accepting suggestions should someone have a great one to offer.
God is cool, Iwa Jima is cool, I am not.

Mmmm. . .Chocolate Silk Pie @ 11:00pm

Puddles

Well, if you have been reading Jaclyn's blog then you all know that I am losing my best work buddy in about two weeks. I can't believe how many emotions are swirling through my head right now, after all, I have been so spoiled as to have a best friend sitting next to me for four years! I could not be more excited for the new step that she is taking. What an opportunity! Of course, I am also sad and certain that come Nov. 1st I will be a very lost insurance assistant. Despite that, I cannot help but to notice how God has used this change to fill both of us with such joy and anticipation of what he will do next. When she and I first met, I was so desparate for stability, purpose and truth. Now looking at where I sit, it seems so clear that God brought her to me "to accomplish what is now being done". Now, perhaps, He doesn't need her to watch over me from five feet away. He has strengthened me enough in Him to have her 30 miles away (from 8am-5pm). It is so very exciting and encouraging to see the work that He has done within both of us and our friendship. I walked into this office as a stranger and she is leaving as my sister. I'll miss her, but as always, she can't get rid of me that easliy : )
Love you, girl

Scary Thought

Since I have been struggling to put up another post, this will be short: ) I found this to be so powerful/convicting when I was reading The Screwtape Letters last night. . . C.S. Lewis supposes that we are weakened to the devil when our focus is diverted from thinking about God to our perceptions of God. I know all too well how we can look at God through the lens of humanity, which in turn makes him a very small God, subject to the same limitations that we suffer. A small God with failings will let us down. If we make him into our image, how then can he overpower the evil that we encounter in life. God becomes weak which allows the devil to gradually chip away at our trust, peace, and joy. Without trust, we take our lives into our own hands, desparate for some kind of control since God can no longer step in on our behalf. Of course the snowball effect continues and we find ourselves lost without any sense of truth. And it all started with trying to reconcile within our minds who we think God to be (when, by the way, he has always been the same regardless of what we tell him he is). I have to tell you that this was a little to much for my brain at 11:00pm. Maybe it is time to go back and see who he says he is, not my limited version!

Serving Love

Serving God and others. . .I have to admit that this has been a difficult subject for me in that I was always struggling with how to serve others when I feel that I am just trying to keep my head above water. What do I have to offer? As God has revealed more of himself to me, he has also revealed key stumbling blocks within my heart, and all of us for that matter, that need to be called under the authority of God in order to selflessly serve others. Then he can mold us into the servants that he has called us to be.
First, as humans, we have this innate desire to be “better” than one another. We claw at and climb over one another just to be one rung higher on the ladder than others around us. It is as if we are justified by being able to look down from our rung at all of those who are looking up at us – struggling to be where we are. It is impossible to serve each other when we are in constant competition with one another. This may seem like such a harsh view of people, but a simple look at the nature of our culture proves this to be true. It is blaringly apparent in our careers, families, athletics, friendships, and romantic relationships. We all have this need to prove ourselves as “lovable” by setting standards that are "below" us. Matthew 18:1 “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” After all, if the disciples struggled with one-up-manship, then how could we not also?
Through this self-created system of justification, we wage war against those who we feel are less moral than those standards. Of course we see it as waging war on sin itself, but is it not the people that we are trying to change? Donald Miller explains that as we try so hard to wage our war against sin, we overshadow the love and forgiveness that Jesus came to preach - the very love that will save them. We seek out immorality when we ourselves are immoral beings and therefore incapable to judge what is right and wrong to begin with. Romans 8:33-34 “It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus who died – more than that – was raised to life, is at the right hand of God, and is interceding on our behalf.” Sin can no more determine morality than we can. Immoral beings cannot determine morality for other immoral beings.
Finally, God showed me that the only way to clear my heart of these things is to begin again with the greatest of his commandments. Matthew 22:37-40 “Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” We tend to read this verse quickly missing the incredible calling we have here in so few words. We are commanded to take captive every thought, submit our very soul, and focus every longing of our hearts on Him. He is in every sense to be our purpose and our reason. As John Pieper writes, how high a calling is it to be told that we must love others in a way that is “like the first”. I can’t imagine loving others in a way that is how I love God. They have faults, they let me down, they don’t handle situations in the way that I would have them, they bring pain into my life and I am asked to love them in a way similar to the passion that I put into God? Yes. . .and once we are able to free our hearts of our condemnation and judgment we can truly serve others, but not until then.

Skeptically Optomistic -
Ok, Jaclyn. This is for you! I have to admit that I am having trouble with this whole idea of blogging, but a dear friend assured me that it is among one of the best things on the internet (so much so that she has two).
I am holding out judgement. . .