Wise?

Ok, so I am reading through Proverbs and I had this thought. Please don't expect anything profound here. . .
"In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil, but a foolish man devours all he has. " Proverbs 21: 20.
I was thinking (and I realize that I am straying from the original intent) that wise people gather knowledge, test it against the Word, and that which is not destroyed, is stored away to be put in practice. They are wise not just because they have the knowledge, but because they test it and will put it into action. On the contrary, a fool is someone who gathers knowledge from everywhere and anywhere. He doesn't test it to be sure that it is choice food, but instead takes in everything that he can, simply because it is there in front of him. When we eat, we are sending nourishment deep into our being. The same goes with knowledge - what we let in goes deep within us and shapes us. Are we going to eat of truth or the world's lies???? Prime Rib or bologna?

Me Who?

For the majority of my life I have grappled with the issue of self-esteem. You must look a certain way, act a certain way, and talk that way too. As a kid I was constantly reminded of how wonderful I was and beautiful too. You know, the classic, inside and out thing. Yet as I look back over my life, I realize that I never achieved this highly sought after and valued self worth. We are pressured to have it all together, strive for this attitude or perspective that convinces us that we are what it is all about, and worst of all, desire to be the example that people look to for truth. If this is such a great concept than why is it that self-esteem just breeds insecurity. Insecurity, because we can't do it all and look great while doing it. Which then just serves as a constant reminder of our failures. What if we actually made God the example. The One who is nothing less than glorified in all that He does. "For this reason, I kneel before the Father from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name." Eph 3:14. "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the works of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they declare knowledge." Psalm 19: 1-2. Funny how my name isn't listed in there anywhere. Could that be because what we should actually be seeking is not self-confidence at all, but instead God-confidence?

Faith Tested

Well, if the past month and a half is any indication of what this next year will hold, then I have to admit that I am a little nervous. I can't help but to be thankful for everything that has happened, for God has strengthened me further than I thought possible. However, prior to strength comes stretching. . .
I was in a car accident in January. Not only did I manage to total my car and injure my hand, but I backed traffic up for hours during rush hour. I am fine, as well as the other 5 people involved, but it has been a month of arguing with insurance companies, visits to the doctor, and numerous other inconveniences. Despite the frustrations, I want to share the amazing blessing God bestowed upon me in a very unlikely way. . .
I had been struggling with some issues that I just couldn't reconcile in my head and heart for about a month prior to the accident. I was praying moments before the accident for God to help heal my heart and attitude. Then BANG. . . He used a rogue car combined with ice and snow (see Jaclyn's blog for further explanation on weather) to completely change my mindset. It wasn't so much of a "life pass before your eyes type thing", but a complete heart change wrapped up in twisted medal, fear, and tears. I am so thankful for God's bigger plan and his ability to use "negative" events for His glory.
In addition to the accident, I had been struggling with the overwhelming feeling that the devil was coming after my friends and family with a vengeance that I had not recognized before. It was quite scary and I must admit, angering. I won't go into specifics here, but it has been an emotionally draining month. Through it all, God kept reminding me that He is faithful and the God of miracles. Regardless of the attack, He is bigger and has already defeated it with the death of His Son. He has shown me the power of prayer and the dire need in those who don't know Him. A verse keeps ringing clear in my head and I have clung to it for the past several months, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done. . ." Genesis 50: 20.
More things to share, but I will save that for another day. . .

Carson

Now that I am somewhat caught up on life, I wanted to share some pictures from my lil nug's visit back in Nov. She is so special to me! Carson and I were college roommates and then we moved to CO together. She left me after a year (I'm not bitter at all) to head back to MD. I miss her so much, but I know that God has given me an amazing, even COOL, gift in my friend.

Here is a picture of all three of us one-time roomies. I really hold the times we spent together so dear, although, I am so happy to see where life has taken us since. It is so clear whenI look at frienships like these, that God is working daily in me and so tenderly bestowing his gifts and promises upon my life. I am very thankful.

What's in a word?

A group of us recently finished a study by John Pieper. One of the lessons discussed how the word "cool" has been able to transcend age, gender, and geography. It never goes out of style. Johnnie used "cool" to describe the actions of young soldiers who threw their bodies onto grenades to protect their friends from certain death. Now, I don't know about you, but I use that word far too often and it has long been a staple in my vocabulary (that, and dude, but we will save that problem for another day). After hearing Pieper's description of what is truly cool, I fear that it has lost its meaning in my overuse. Feeling convicted to reserve that word for the legitimately cool; I now need a new word. I am accepting suggestions should someone have a great one to offer.
God is cool, Iwa Jima is cool, I am not.

Mmmm. . .Chocolate Silk Pie @ 11:00pm

Puddles

Well, if you have been reading Jaclyn's blog then you all know that I am losing my best work buddy in about two weeks. I can't believe how many emotions are swirling through my head right now, after all, I have been so spoiled as to have a best friend sitting next to me for four years! I could not be more excited for the new step that she is taking. What an opportunity! Of course, I am also sad and certain that come Nov. 1st I will be a very lost insurance assistant. Despite that, I cannot help but to notice how God has used this change to fill both of us with such joy and anticipation of what he will do next. When she and I first met, I was so desparate for stability, purpose and truth. Now looking at where I sit, it seems so clear that God brought her to me "to accomplish what is now being done". Now, perhaps, He doesn't need her to watch over me from five feet away. He has strengthened me enough in Him to have her 30 miles away (from 8am-5pm). It is so very exciting and encouraging to see the work that He has done within both of us and our friendship. I walked into this office as a stranger and she is leaving as my sister. I'll miss her, but as always, she can't get rid of me that easliy : )
Love you, girl